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Love Drunk?! [June 24th, 2006 | 23.47] [ mood | depressed and stressed ] Kirsten spent the night the other night. That was fun. We saw Hoodwinked on Friday as part of the summer movie fun at Harkins. It was cute. Then we cooked dinner and just chilled at my house. Then we met Steve at Starbucks and had coffee...well, I had tea, rather. Then we went to Blockbuster and rented 13 Ghosts. Steve made a comment about my height and inability to get into movies without being carded...specifically G-rated movies. Funny. Today, Kirsten, Amanda Blunt and I went to the mall and just walked around and ate Cinnabon. Then I went to Kirsten's and she finished my cd and burned it for me and I'm listening to it as we speak...or type. My mom gave me the lecture regarding the fact that I'm about to turn 20 and I don't act like it and how I need to take up my weight around the house and all that sort of stuff. Then she comes at me with, "I most likely am going to be labeled with chronic illness and that means I won't be able to work anymore after 1, 2 or hopefully 3 years. So that means we'll be living on one paycheck and you can't be asking for money all the time and execting us to hand everything over to you." How am I supposed to respond to that? What am I supposed to say? I feel horrible. I ask for things and I want to hang out all the time and I want to have a good time, and all this while my mother slowly and painfully (believe me) withers away to where she can't do anything!! I feel helpless almost and like a failure... This sucks. Dan feels dead to me. I was thinking about it today. I was holding a paper that he had written and as I read it, I felt as if he weren't even here. He felt like such a distant memory, like a dream or something. Weird, because I know he's still here. I'm over him to the point where I don't long for him anymore. But, I can't completely let go. Yes, it's been almost a year since he dumped my ass, but I can't seem to let everything go. I still hurt. I still want to cry. I still have so many questions left unanswered. Maybe this is a horrible thing to want, but I want to be his friend so that I can be there when everything fails for him. So that when things go wrong and people start to see through his sorry ass, I can be there to say, "Bet you wished you were a bit kinder to those who truely cared about you, don't you?" Did you know that he didn't even consider our relationship a real one? Yeah, that's what I've been told. Do you know how much I want to rip his eyes out for leading me on so very much? After all the soft words and the gestures he did for me, how could it not have been real? If I meant nothing to him, then why did he tell me he loved me? I know why...he's a liar, a manipulator, a shit. And Amanda. She is so very naive. Naive as hell. I want to tell her so many things, but she will just blow it off and say that he loves her. Yeah, well he loved me and he loved Lindsey and he loved others...then he threw us away. What does she think she's going to do for him? She won't change him. He doesn't even love her. There is no way that he could possibly love that sorry, little girl. I feel bad for her, but at the same time, she's doing it to herself. I want to punch him in the face. At banquet in his will when he told Casey how glad he was that they overcame they're "problem"...yeah, that was me. I wanted to go up to him and congratulate him on overcoming his problem. But, unfortunately, I decided to be the bigger person and be mature about things. I love how he claims that he wants to still be friends, yet he does absolutely nothing to support that. Friendship is a two way street. Asshole!!! I love Kirsten and I don't want this asshole, mother fucker to hurt her anymore! I swear, if I find out one more thing that he did to make her cry, I am going to his house and I am going to claw his eyes out and rip his lungs out!!! I think he has made me insane. The psychic of Steve's said that Steve and I aren't growing apart, I just need to help a "third party (Kirsten)" and that most of my time is focused on that. I hope I can help her in the way that she needs to be helped. I miss my friends in Florida. Mostly Jon, Justin, T.P. and Gary. The boys of 2708. But Jon alot. I really hope that I meet up with him in the future. I'd marry him in a heartbeat! He's beautiful. He looks like Matt Daemon. He has the most beautiful voice! He is so much fun. A Non-Denominational Christian. He is 20. We love the same music and we get along so well. We love the same kinds of food. He happens to live in Washington, a place I've always wanted to live in, not to mention Starbucks capital of the world. He's just everything. Not quite perfect, yet, but close. He plays instruments. He works for Godiva Chocolate in WA. We both love to dance. He is an AMAZING kisser...yes, I made out with him twice in one night. I was totally sober and I loved every minute of it. That hazy, everything else just disappears, thing happened. It was a moment I wish I could relive hundreds of times over again! Perhaps in the future...? I think my mind needs a rest. I'm very emotional tonight. I feel like crying, but nothing will come. It's stressful. I just need to sleep. Church in the morning. Paperwork for S*Buxx on Monday at 9 AM. Start working at 4 AM on Tuesday. AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Busy from there on out...

My Nenna [June 22nd, 2006 | 01.37] [ mood | lazy ] Oh, how wonderful it is to see your bestest friend when it has been so very long since your last encounter!! I am at Jenna's dorm right now and we have spent the night just chatting and hanging out. What fun! We went to PF Changs for dinner and then I met her friend Steve and then we went to Sonic for drinks and then we went down to the desk and hung out with Steve for a while. Now, we're in her room about to go to bed. We also went to Border's to browse. I leave tomorrow morning. I have to babysit my brother and clean my room. I'm starting to feel really accomplished on my room. I'm totally gutting the whole thing out and I'm loving every minute of it. I did come across my shrine to the Backstreet Boys. I didn't have the heart to throw that stuff away. So, it's back in my closet on my now clean and organized shelf. Went to Sizzler for lunch today with Mary and Gpa. My sister had a pool party with a whole bunch of people she didn't know. That was awkward and rude. She invited one girl and 3 others tagged along. Then the guys came I guess. At this point, I was already with Jenna. Not much else is going on at the moment or at this point in my life. I start work next week, so that will give me stuff to do...finally. Something remotely interesting to talk about...I suppose. Well, tootles.

$+@r8u(k$...das cool!! [June 21st, 2006 | 00.16] [ mood | crazy ] I was supposed to work yesterday and I was excited. Never got a call about what time I was supposed to come in. Then I got a call from Robbie saying that I'd get a call from Brittany (manager) saying when I would work next. No call. I was, needless to say, scared. I went to coffee and a movie with Steve-O last night. Ok, I'm all fucked up now. The day that I was on (Tuesday) just decided to switch to today (Wednesday). Just to clarify. Back to where I was... I was supposed to work on Monday. I went to coffee and a movie with Steve on Tuesday. We saw Omen 666...I thought it was very good. I then went home and had a little nightmare. It goes a little something like this...I walk into my house from the movie and all the pictures in the house are on the floor and walls facing away from me. I tried to call out "mom!" But I couldn't speak! On the third Mom that I tried to yell worked...I woke up saying mom. How weird! And then my sister talked in her sleep. I think she may be the spawn of Satan. I'm redoing my room. Oriental style...reds, black, bamboo, betas...I'm really looking forward to it. It'll be my "Oriental Oasis" ( copyright Kirsten). My sister's being a bitch...but a beautiful bitch!!! Steve, go get your goddamn keys!! love you, wuss I miss Omar, too...but not really cuz he's Mexican...=]] Vivian, hearing from you today was really refreshing!! ♥ you kiddo! "It's like drinking a cold sprite while on the beach naked." "It's more like a corona." You fucking slizzle!! You're a fucking rake!! (inside joke...ask, it's good!) My sister needs to tell Josh a story and whatever sister says, goes. Mucho love-o el friend-o's!!

Howdy from a Shorty [June 17th, 2006 | 20.43] [ mood | content ] I know, it's been a while since my last post, but I haven't been on the computer in a long time. Anywho, my trip to Europe wasn't exactly all that it was cracked up to be. When we got to Spain, my luggage was not there, so I had to wait, but they weren't sure when they would get to me or if it would be before we got on the ship. So the next day my grandpa let me go shopping to get a couple of outfits just in case. When we get back from shopping, it's there. Waste of money and grandpa said I spent all my souvenir money. Not quite fair. We then are told to leave our luggage inside our room by the door and the cruiseline would pick them up and bring them to the ship. We get the the ship and it's beautiful and we are really excited. We wait all night long and none of our 7 pieces of luggagen shows up...we leave the port and still no sign of our stuff. We go down to reception and see if they have it, they don't and they say they'll call the hotel. They didn't call them that night, they wait until later, and I mean LATER, the next day. They couldn't get through to the hotel, but they don't even bother to let us know. They gave us 3 t-shirts, all medium and if you know my grandpa, he can't fit into a medium. Now, this I found quite ironic: the back of the shirt said, "Some people have all the luck...I did!" They also gave us some toiletry kits that had toothpaste that tasted like cement. If you know me, you know that I love to brush my teeth, so that was particularly horrible. We hadn't heard from reception for a day and we were getting antzy. We went down again and I almost lost it on them. They said they would try to find us some clothes for the time being and we had to write down our sizes. Needless to say, we missed formal night, one of the reasons I actually go on cruises. My grandpa entered the Texas Hold 'Em tournament and won about $957. That was cool, but we still didn't have any clothes. We had to cancel a tour to Pompei and that was sad. Good news is we did get to see Pompei because of a very nice taxi driver. Mary and I drank alot from the mini bar in our cabin. To make a relativel long story short, we didn't have our stuff for about 5 out of the 7 days we were on the ship. A guy on the bus ride to the airport after the cruise heard what we were saying and turned to us and said, "Oh, I heard about you guys!" That was totally not cool. But, funny. I got to see the Colliseum and The Vatican and St. Peter's Basilica. I got to make my own perfume in France. It was cool. But, the whole trip had just been tainted that it was hard to fully enjoy. I started cleaning my room today. I feel semi-productive. I love talking to Kirsten. It feels good to just purge all the thoughts and opinions and feelings that have been welling up inside of me for a year. And she is the only one who understands. So, thanks. I love you. I start work at Starbucks on 35th and Bethany Home Road on Monday. I don't know what time yet, but I'm really excited!!! Y'all really need to come visit me this time...it's alot closer. ♥

Cruising for a Bruising [June 4th, 2006 | 03.15] [ mood | awake ] Ok, so you may be asking why Telle is on the internet in Spain. Well, I'll tell you. I can't sleep. It's early morning here and evening in Phoenix. So, as you can imagine, jet lag still hasn't subsided. I ate pizza a little while ago at this crazy little hole in the wall. Here's the latest on this side of the world, funny, but you may need me to clarify later. Just ask... -"Chocolate, vanilla y strawberry"...Why strawberry?! -I am an American! I do not use anything but American money. And I refuse to use the metric system! -Free hotel nigts(pronounced niggots) -Happy Bean has a screw loose! -"There's only 3 of those per generation, making a grand total of 3." -Gap toothed Trident model -At breakfast: Guess where they're from: Japan, Japan, Japan, England, Japan... -Amsterdam. Did you say Amsterdam? No, we said Hamster Dance -Culture shock at breakfast: Elbowed Japanese woman, "Sorry!" "Astksutyw!" *weird look* -Grandpa drunk, running into the bed, hurting his toe and his "man-lover" who buys him drinks. -Stealing airplane blankets -Little orange lights above hotel room doors -Getting off the internet, then 5 minutes later..."let's get on the internet!" -I have to pee!...Well, if you weren't such an alcoholic, Chantelle!...I know, I know... -Broken window: Is it broken? Well, when it falls on grandpa, we'll know. -Condom machines -McDonald's, Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, Subway, KFC, Pizza Hut, Starbucks, Hard Rock Cafe -Forrest burp -Beautiful waitor...Fabrizio ♥ -Urge to hit man with shoe at the mall -purple suitcases, that DON'T exist!...But, you love her! -Argument over what kind of ship it is. -Red shirt guy checking Mary out -Construction guys checking us out -Hotel in the wall -"Dogs are a big thing here, huh?" -Feeding pigeons Subway -40 euros for a cab...MY ASS! -Myspace in Spain -Damn funny email to mommy -"Fuck Me!"-trying to get bag on the bed -Sagadellic, you realize they're going to hang low now. -Speaking gibberish all day -internet (again) at 3 o'clock in the morning! I'm sure there will be more to tell you all when I get back...pretty positive, actually. In 9 hours, I'll be on the ship. In 9 hours, I'll be man spotting...hee hee hee... In 9 hours, I'll have REAL iced tea...thank goodness! Miss you all, and hope all is well! Let's party when I get back! ♥♥♥

The ways of the Spanish-O [June 3rd, 2006 | 14.15] [ mood | giggly ] So, we got into Spain yesterday morning... wait, this is going to be weird for all of you, even me. Because, here's why: It is 2:16 pm right now. Very early in the morning for all of you. So, my yesterday...wait a minute...my yesterday is now your yesterday... Wow...never you mind. So anyway, yesterday we arrived in Barcelona and they lost my bag. Oh, but at Philidelphia airport, my sister and I were almost late for the plane, so they had to call us over the loud speaker. funny to mucho extent. then i lost my bag. no, they lost my bag. today, i went shopping. then my bag showed up. kinda sucks because my grandpa said i used up all my souvenir money on clothes...not totally fair. oh well. i have clothes from spain. going on the cruise tomorrow. that should be cool. i'm really excited. not to mention, i now have new clothes to wear. it's funny writing in this livejournal when someone is reading it over your shoulder...*looks over at Mary* but then again, this is an online journal and people read it all the time. hee hee hee... Sarah, sorry for the misunderstanding. I hope we can be cool...and I don't hate you. Hope it's mutual. Everyone, I miss you! I love you too! Be jealous...be very jealous!!

So Long Everybody...See Ya Real Soon! [May 31st, 2006 | 22.12] [ mood | ecstatic ] 10 Day Cruise to Spain, France, Italy and Sicily! I'll call you all when I get back and let you know how it was! Don't be too jealous...ok, do! J/K Hung out with Kirsten today. Hung out with Kirsten and Steve last night. Played a great game that made us think...you know what I mean Kirsten! Hugs and Kisses! ♥

Big-O Partay!! [May 29th, 2006 | 14.26] [ mood | excited ] Well, hopefully. Starts at 3:30 pm. Goes until whenever people want to leave. Special guest appearances by: Jenna Waldrop! Lizzie Boatman! Steve Wood! AND: Joel Pellini! Chad Van Pelt! Amanda Kelly! Remember, That's 3:30 PM until You Feel Like Leaving!! Hope to see you there!!! P.S. You can also come late if you have made previous plans!! It's an open invite!!! S♥M♥O♥O♥C♥H♥E♥S

Awkward Emotions [May 26th, 2006 | 22.38] [ mood | depressed ] I've been feeling really awkward lately. I've just been either mad or sad or super happy. I don't know what's wrong with me! And right now, it's sad. I feel really depressed. My mom actually asked me if I needed to see a therapist. And I can't stop crying. What possessed me to call him today? I don't know, but my mom saw it in my call log and told me that it really wasn't healthy to be talking to him still. She's right. She deleted his number from my phone. I just feel really crappy. And lonely...really lonely. I'm having problems with my asthma and I have bronchitis. I hung out with Kirsten today and we went to get smoothies. Yummy. I then went to the doctor, but I had to ride in an elevator, and I HATE elevators, and then he told me I had bronchitis, which I think is a lie, but by the way I feel right now, I may be forced to give him the benefit of the doubt. I went to the gym, which I love to do. I thought endorphines were supposed to be released, but for some reason, not in my brain. Then my mom, brother and I went to The Monastary for my moms end of the year get-together for work. I ate a really good cheeseburger. Then I went to my uncle's house to get the annual breifing on how to house-sit for them. Then I came home and cried. I'm lonely and I have little to no self-esteem. I feel fat and ugly. All these different things are going on in my head and now I have codeine in my system so I'm going to pass out! And I want Jonathan.

ASD&%#@$GHGF$#!@!%@%LJKJHB!!!! [May 26th, 2006 | 09.58] [ mood | frustrated ] This is how I feel. I'm tired and I don't want to do anything, all day long. At night, I'd like to go to a party, but now, I wanna sleep. I love you guys. You're my friends and I love you. I miss my friends from Florida: Jon, Katie, Dan, Nate, Krystina, T.P., Gary, Justin, Alicia, Jodi-Ann, Ronda, Michelle, Claudia, Armanda, Erik, Riley, Simon, Trish, Vernon, Mike, Mike Warra, Brandon, Melissa...I miss them. I miss that freedom. Here's what I want: I want to live on an island with only people I choose to live with. I would have the above mentioned people, plus friends from home, such as: Steve, Kirsten, Joel, Chad, Amanda, Lizzie, Jenna, Michael, Vivian, Casey, Kayci, Yoko, Omar and my family: Mommy, Daddy, Mary, Forrest and G-Pa. Mary's friend Kory. And others that I can't think of at the moment. Then to add some drama, Dan Kwast and A. Hooker and Katie Meyer. I think it would be a fun place to live, and I don't think it would ever get boring. It seems like a blast in my head.

A Truly Wonderful Day! [May 26th, 2006 | 01.41] [ mood | giggly ] It started with me waking up and going to pick up my sister and Kory from school. We all headed to the mall to go shopping. Mary and I had $200 each to spend on clothes. I bought two dresses and four shirts, two of which are from Hollister, which I love. We then went to the food court to eat lunch. We headed to my house around two o'clock so I could get ready to go to Graduation. My sister helped me straighten my hair and I made myself look oh so cute! I went to Starbucks and ordered a banana mocha frappuccino and an iced caramel macchiatto as I waited for Joel. Finally, he showed up and we were on our way to get Chad and go to the Maricopa Events Center, formerly known as the Sundome. We got to Graduation right on time, with some time to spare at that! We watched as our beloved friends walked across the stage and after we met them outside and said our congrats and all that jazz. Then, Joel, Chad, Kirsten and I headed to Omar's house. We got there early and Chad was hungry, so we went to Circle K. Joel and I also brushed our teeth in Omar's front yard with his hose, but don't tell him!! When we got back, we ate food and friends started to show up! I had a blast with Yoko and Amanda, but then Sarah showed up and I don't really like her anymore. She was really upsetting. Anyway, Yoko and I played catch (sorta) with a giant ball and then we both aided in the breakage of his new laptop. Don't let him convince you that I broke it!! Then Dan and Amanda showed up. I feel bad for her. She's so naive...she will never see the truth about him. Oh yeah!! And Steve showed up and that was fun. And I totally love Omar! Jonathan called me while I was in the ceremony, so I called him back and we talked. Then, he called twice later but I missed both calls, so I called him and got his voicemail and left a message. I miss him something awful. I'm afraid I'll never see him again. We must hope for the best!! Steve and I left and I wanted to get a smoothie, but Sonic closed at midnight...we got there at midnight:03 and they still wouldn't serve us...sucky! So, we went to the park instead and talked for about an hour about life and basically the subject of relationships and stuff. Then, I crawled through my window to get into my house because I didn't have a key. I'm trying to make plans to go to the zoo on Monday. That would be a blast! I may be able to get some people in for free, but I'm not sure yet. I have to ask my mommy. Someone said I should see a psychic. Hmm... Why do I still think about him? I'll tell you. Because I want him to want me and not be able to have me and I want him to hurt, really bad...but it's futile. He feels nothing. So, there were two people that blurred my night, but otherwise it was wonderful! Oh yeah again! I came home and got on myspace and my sister made my profile beautiful!! And I love the picture! She totally surprised me with that and I love it! I love her! Tonight was really good. Tomorrow I go to the doctor and possibly hang out with Steve and Nicki. Now, I go to sleep because I'm super exhausted!!! Much love!! And, CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CLASS OF 2006!!!

Busy Day [May 24th, 2006 | 23.27] [ mood | cheerful ] I woke up today and had to let movers bring in a piano. It's pretty nice, but needs tuning like you wouldn't believe! When I play it, it reminds me of the people who sang behind me last year in choir...sad to say. Then, I called Kirsten and her and I went to Jo-Anns, Wal-Mart and Hobby Bench to return stuff my mom had bought. Every place except Hobby Bench would give cash returns. Then we went to the Starbucks on 35th and Bethany Home Road so I could meet up with Robbie, my new assistant manager, as I will now be working at that one. I am available to start after June 14th and let me tell you how excited I am!! VERY!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!! Anyway, we got drinks and I got the banana coconut frappuccino...delectable!! From there, we went to In-N-Out because I've been craving it since I got back. We took it to my house and kinda watched Anchorman, but mostly we talked about everything...well, alot about a certain person. Great conversation! Then we went to pick up my mom from the babysitters house (the battery in her car died, so she uses my car, I pick it up, then I pick her up when she's ready) and we all went to Fry's and bought groceries. We put the groceries away and I took Kirsten home. We sat in her living room and talked again. Then my mom calls and says I need to pick my sister up from her friends house and then come home to help my dad unload something. Well, I thought this was very weird. So, I go and get Mary and when we get home, there is a coke machine sitting in our drive-way. Yes, my friends!! I said COKE MACHINE! We have a frickin coke machine in our living room now! That's how whacked out my family is!! Then I brought some medicine to Kirsten and my mom, brother and I headed toward the gym. Forrest went to the kid care and mom and I did the bikes and then sat in the steam room. It was wonderful!! Steve called me later and asked if I wanted to go to Burger King with him. I told my dad where I was going, and my dad, grandpa and sister all ordered something. Go figure. Burger King closed, so we went to Carl's Jr. Well, they will only do one order at a time through the drive-thru, so we had to drive through twice. We came back to my house and ate and watched parts of King Kong. I also played with the ring he gave Cindy...is that horrible? It's just so pretty and he had it in his car!! We decided to play a trick on my mom and I walked in and told everyone that we wanted to wait until I got home from Florida to tell everyone, but...I was engaged!! My mom first got a look like, "WHAT THE HELL?!" Then she realized that I wouldn't marry my brother...it was funny. Then I kinda dozed off and Steve left and here I am, waiting for the washer to get done washing so I can put the clothes in the dryer. Let me tell you something...I love talking about Dan and how much I want to kill him most the time. It is so relieving to do that!! I have so much built inside of me when it comes to that subject, that sometimes I just need to vent and I got to do that today. I know some of you might be saying, "You should be over that by now! It's been a year!" But, when you never get closure, you don't fully get over things...and he's still such a skeeze! I wish things could be different between us, but I'm not quite sure it ever can. I also got to get some frustrations out on the phone yesterday. So, special shout out to my dear girls Vivian, for a great 1 and a half hours of girl talk on the phone yesterday and Kirsten, for a wonderful, fun-filled day today!! Such a blast! I love you guys! You're such dolls! I'm going to graduation tomorrow with Joel. Can't wait to see all my little babies walk across the stage!! *tear* Oh, so tired!! Buenos Noches!

blech! [May 23rd, 2006 | 16.00] [ mood | crappy ] this day is a total waste of air. I woke up, in pain, at 10 or something. Eew. Went to lunch at Sizzler with my grandpa. Quiet. Picked my sister up from school. Fun? Nope. Came over to my grandpa's house and died on my sister's bed from my ladies. SUCK! You know what I hate? The fact that my ladies is irregular. Sorry for any male who reads this and doesn't care...you suck big, hairy, fungal toes!!! And I hate you! Because you are male! Anyway, to continue. The last time I got it was March. Yes, lucky to an extent, but I never know when it is going to come and when it does come, IT HURTS LIKE A MOTHER!!!!! I need to have a major girl talk...anyone interested?

Katie [May 23rd, 2006 | 11.44] [ mood | aggravated ] I didn't come back to be inflicted with her problems! I'm trying to be a good friend, but it's hard when every single day she calls me crying because something else went wrong! She brings the majority of her problems on to herself. She needs better friends, she always has and now she is the worst I've ever seen her get! It's horrible, but if I keep getting in the middle of all her problems like she keeps asking me to do, I may get into trouble, and I DO NOT want that!! I can't deal with this, too!!

Oh, Transition! [May 22nd, 2006 | 21.27] [ mood | discontent ] I hate this feeling. This feeling of being in limbo. Like, you are at the point where you are bent over backward and about to go under the limbo pole, but there's someone standing in front of you, hindering you from completing the movement. I had a taste of independence, almost to it's extreme, and now I have to come back here to this house and the fears and reservations of my parents. And I miss my friends. It's almost...homesick? But, in the hustle of me coming back and all the craziness of this transition period, I forgot to congratulate those people here who mean alot to me. So, here goes... Vivian, congratulations for best actress!! I've seen you grow both as a young woman, but also as a very talented and charismatic actor. You definitely deserved that award and everything that it stands for! Casey, best actor...wow! Congratulation! I'm so very proud of you and all that you've accomplished! Break a leg and knock 'em dead in Chicago!! Kayci, you and Amanda have kept publicity alive and you have made me proud! Congratulations on all that you've accomplished this past year. You are amazing and such a delight! I can't wait to see what's in store for you next year!! Amanda, you are too sweet! What a wonderful year this has been for you and I can only begin to imagine what is to come! You're so very talented and next year is going to be great for you! Kirsten, you are a beautiful dancer and Goldwater is going to miss you! I can't wait to see you around campus next year...maybe audition for musicals together...hmmm?!?!?!? Omar, you amaze me. Always have. I love you and miss you and congratulations on everything that you've accomplished this year. Next year will prove to be nothing but fruitful for you and I know you will be a success! To anyone I've missed, you know you're in my heart and congratulations on your accomplishments! To all the seniors, wow! You've come to the end, the time you've been waiting for for four years! You've had good times and bad times. You've laughed and you've cried. But, every single thing that you have experienced through these last four years is going to be a lasting impression on your life. Never forget the memories, whether happy or sad. Don't forget the people that you've met for this is a small world and you may see them again, and oh! that time will be fun! Don't be ashamed of who you are or what you like. Along with that, always be yourself. Don't take things for granted. Congratulations to you all! Good luck in your future and have a blast!! I'm in extreme like with someone and I have no idea what to do about it. Oh, the pain I feel in my heart! Oh, my Prince J! Went to the gym today with my mom. It was nice to be working out again. I need it. Going on my cruise soon. June 1st. We are going to Spain, some city in France, Pompei, Rome and Sicily. My brother is scared that I'm going to leave him again, so he doesn't want me to go...anywhere! I can't take it anymore...I'll go insane...slowly... Gone.

Sore Throats and Iced Tea [May 22nd, 2006 | 01.45] [ mood | drained ] The change in climate has caused me to become ill. I hate being sick. Last night was the 25th wedding anniversary of my dear aunt and uncle. I sang a song for them called "Before Your Love" by Kelly Clarkson. I think I did a pretty good job. A bit pitchy, and the last note started off a bit rocky, but eh! You are your worst critic. My being there was a surprise. I was supposed to still be in Florida. I went to the Sugar Bowl today with my family and Brandon Smith, my brother's piano teacher and Casey's friend. We had a blast. I took my dairy pills and as I went to swallow them, I swallowed a piece of ice. My dad laughed, which caused me to laugh, which in turn caused me to spit water across the table...at Brandon. It was quite a day! Katie called crying. Her ex-boyfriend's uncle was killed today in a flash fire in his house. I picked her up and took her by her ex's house because she was afraid he'd do something terrible. It turned into this huge drama...he yelled at her, she cried, a girl showed up and I don't know what else. I don't approve of her friends. She hangs with the wrong crowd. After I dropped her off, I met up with Ryan Santanello, my friend from church, and his friends and we saw The DaVinci Code. It was a good story. Everytime that you thought it was over, it kept on going. It seemed to never end. It started at 10:30pm and we got out at 1:00am. I then went to McDonalds because they have a 24 hour drive thru. I ordered a 6 piece mcnugget mighty kids meal. I had to pay at the first window and it was Patrick, whom I had French with my Freshman year...he liked me then and was flirting now. At the second window I had to wait. The guys in the car ahead of me kept looking back and waving at me...over and over and over again! When I finally pulled up to get my food, the guy at the window asked if I wanted the toy for a girl or boy. I said girl and when he came back he winked and said, "I put two in there for you." I just smiled and said thank you and then drove away laughing!! I'm home now and tired and I'm going to bed. I love iced tea!

Home At Last [May 20th, 2006 | 02.09] [ mood | blank ] It's weird being home. I miss all my friends in Orlando. I got back to Arizona at about 8:45 pm on Thursday night. Tonight I went to Thespian Banquet. It felt weird. I felt almost unwelcome, like an outsider or stranger. I knew practically everyone and even people I once had inside jokes with, but it still felt odd. I went on that date with Jonathan finally. I went on the Saturday before I left. So, that would be...the 13th. It was a whole lot of fun. We went to Olive Garden, then we held hands through Downtown Disney (just a little while, but it was enough to give me butterflies!), then I went back to his apartment for a "dance party", almost got caught by security and Jon told me to go to the bedroom and not come out. I ended up falling asleep on the floor, then when his roommates tried to give me a pillow, I woke up and said, "I want pie!" It was hilarious! There were 4 guys surrounding me. I ate some pie and some frosty from Wendy's. Then, T.P. and Jon pushed the beds together and I slept in between them...harmless, but so much fun!! I miss the guys in 2708. *sigh* I had my goodbye party at Perkins rather than IHOP because IHOP was closed...stupid! It was a lot of fun and if you want to know what happened, just ask to see the video. I'm singing a song for my aunt and uncle's 25th wedding anniversary later this evening. It should be fun. It's a surprise, too, because not many people know I'm home. Well, Joel, Steve, Nicki and Deva came over to my house tonight after banquet and we just talked all night long for like 3 hours and ate chicken fries and ice cream. It was pleasurable. But, now I'm sleepy. I miss Jon...and everyone else in Florida! But I love you guys!!

Times Up! [May 8th, 2006 | 18.20] [ mood | loved ] 8 more days left...AH!!! (Excitement and sadness) How is everyone? It's been a while since I've written due to my lack of computer. I hate school. I would much rather just work all the time. I love working. My Prince J and I are going to P.I. and dinner with our Italian friends tonight. I don't know all the details, but I hope it's just me and Jon and Marianna and Roberto...and THAT'S IT! I hate finding someone just a couple weeks before you leave. Why ever does it work that way? I hate it, but I hope I meet up with him again later in life...hmm... Well, Riley is gone now. He left two days ago. Sadness all around. You see, as much as I hate the job, we've become a family. We've spent holidays together. We go places together. They're all I've had for the past 5 months. And now I'm just expected to get up and leave them. Disney did not do a very good job at telling the downside of alot of things. In 4 days, Erik and Armanda are leaving. In 8 days, I'm leaving. On the 26th, Claudia leaves. In June, Dan is leaving. In August Krystina, Sonja, Jonathan and Adam leave and Steve arrives. Darling, Je vous aime beaucoup, I love you, yes I do.

Love Stinks! [April 28th, 2006 | 17.29] [ mood | flirty ] I made out with him the other night. Twice. It was wonderful! He's going on a date with someone else tonight. SUCK!!

The Latest and the Greatest!! [April 26th, 2006 | 03.32] [ mood | tired, but happy ] Not too much new has happened that differs from the norm. But, it has all been fun. I've met someone. I really, truly like him, but I'm not quite sure what is going to happen with it. His name is Jonathan James Theriault. He's hilarious, and always puts a smile on my face. I get butterflies whenever I even think of him...I have them now! He is so very handsome and he's a Christian and plays instruments and has such a beautiful bass voice...I could go on and on! I would love to call him my own! Last night, or rather the wee hours of yesterday morning, Armanda, Riley and I took the F bus after work to Crossroads and ran across the street to IHOP. We basically sleep, work and go to IHOP. There's Trish, this itty-bitty trucker woman who is such a kick! And there's Vernon, who has a crush on Erik. He threatened me with a knife the other night...a big knife!...for sitting next to Erik all the time. Anyway, yesterday...Erik met us there and Riley twisted the lid off of the pepper shaker and when Erik went to pour some pepper, the lid fell off and pepper went everywhere!! We cracked up!! Trish had made some meatloaf and I asked to try some, so she brought us out a piece. It tasted wonderful! I asked her what was in it and she named all these different ingredients, one of which was pork sausage. Riley gave me this look and said to me, "Oh my gosh!! You're Jewish!" I pretended to freak out, too and the look on Trish's face was priceless!! We then told her we were kidding and she gave us this look that would kill and said, and I quote, "Oh, fuck you guys!" It was hilarious!!! The Vernon came over and started rubbing on Erik and he showed him his pictures on his phone. That was funny. Then we walked back to our complex, over a mile and this cab drove by and picked us up and took us home for no charge. That was very nice of him. Tonight, I went with Armanda to Wal-Mart and then back to her apartment for a sleep over. I'm currently there now. We're watching the show, Paramedics: Life on the Streets, or something like that. I'm going to bed here shortly. I'm exhausted. I have to work at 3:30 pm later today. I love the movie What About Bob. "Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a Schizophrenic, And so am I." 21 days left until I get to come home!! I love you guys and I can't wait to see you all!! Pool party coming soon!! muchos love-os!!

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